This topic pulls at my heart strings… It makes me emotional and at peace all at the same time.
You hear it in the midst of a toddler breakdown, after a long sleepless night, when nothing you do makes them happy… there at the end of all of it is a frustrated, tired and overworked mother who says “I’m never having another kid!” I know, because I’ve been THAT mother. A lot.
But what happens when it’s not just frustration and sleep deprivation talking? What about when it’s the truth… When you know you really just are done having babies. Lots of emotions, that’s what happens.
Jon and I have talked seriously about our sweet Avery being our last child. How now that we have our boy and our girl, we might could be done and be okay with it. How we now can just sit back and raise our kids and watch them grow into wonderful, God fearing adults. How financially we won’t be as stretched as we would be if we were to have more. How we feel perfectly balanced. But even so… Am I really ready to never have another baby? It’s a harder decision than I thought it would be.
“Am I really done”? I find myself saying this a lot… At 25 years old am I ready to make that decision? Am I done feeling little kicks in my belly? Am I done giving birth? Am I done holding a tiny newborn for the first time and examining their little face and counting their fingers and toes? Am I done taking in their scent for the first time? Am I done seeing God’s glory through the face of an infant? Am I done seeing those first steps and hearing those first words? Will I never breastfeed again? I really don’t have a definite answer for that.
Sometimes I look at my family and when we are all together I feel complete, like I have everyone I’m supposed to… Other times I think “yeah, I could probably have one more” It’s such a hard choice to make.
As of right now, in this very place in our lives… we consider ourselves “done” and truthfully I am okay with that decision. I’m at peace with it. We have two beautiful, healthy children, exactly what we prayed and hoped for. Our boy and our girl… If that’s all we ever have, I’ll know that was God’s plan for our family.
But I’m a woman… I’m entitled to change my mind if I want to, right? That’s my prerogative 😉
momoftwolittles 